“And here comes Tanis Bolton, finishing her first 100 k,” Lauren, the host of Women of Distance podcast, rang out as I crossed the finish line.
It was pure excitement, I was on the edge of tears crossing the finish line. I did it. I really did it. I had planned this race over a year ago and all that hard work and prep came together on the day. It felt like I was a “real” ultramarathoner now that I had done 100k. I was really proud of every ounce of prep including knowing my own strengths well enough to choose this race in the first place.
Let’s rewind a bit.
Earlier this year I had started to question whether I was really elite or not. Imposter syndrome is the monster that comes for us all; whether that be in every day life, work, or sport. After I raced Sulphur Springs 50k in May, I went into a very dark thought spiral of whether I really mattered in the sport at all. I had won another Sulphur 50k in close to my course record and I wasn’t satisfied. I was worried about how HARD that race felt, the fact that my legs cramped for the first time ever (for no real reason), and that Quebec was only 6 weeks away and I really wanted to “run something special” that day.
I had to reach out to friends to help pull me out of such a terrible headspace. I had just run 50k and the mental and emotional exhaustion post-race only added to it.
Even Erin herself sent me a timely email which read:
Your instagram post [from sulphur] made me think of the quote “everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face.” Way to be tough out there! Imagine how this grittiness will pay off on a day you feel great. And second fastest time every on that course is nothing to scoff at!
After a few pep talk sessions with friends, I thought back to an earlier sport psych session with Erin. It would be a few more weeks before my next scheduled sport psych session, and my last one at that! I wanted to practice the new skills and mindset that Erin had taught me over the past 6 months. I wanted to go to the next session letting her know that I had issues but, I worked through them.
In this memorable session, we discussed “unhelpful narratives.” These are those stories we tell ourselves that inevitably hold us back from really going for it in life. When I expressed that sometimes I worry whether I’m elite or not in this sport Erin posed an equally thought provoking question – “What even is elite?” She asked for my definition. Admittedly, it was very hard to put into words. I felt that in the past it was easier to dub myself “elite” when I had different sponsorships/ambassadorships. They were external ways to “prove” that I was elite. She then asked me, “do you feel like you are an elite?” “Well, yes,” I answered. “So it doesn’t matter then, that’s all that you need,”she replied. I explained some of my worries were from the fact that since switching to trails I’ve tried gaining nutrition sponsorships and had been either denied or ignored outright. Erin raised my spirits stating that there are so many factors that go into that decision on the companies end and none of that means I wasn’t good enough to have one.
From there we refocused on the why and purpose behind my participation in trail running. THAT was easy to define: adventure, competition, mindfulness, and a purpose driven life all rang true.
One thing that I’ve really valued in my sport psych sessions was simplifying things down… and simply I know that whether I had a sponsor or not, I’d still be doing the same thing in sport and my life would be no different. On top of that mindset, we worked on my other unhelpful narrative that I would choke when put up against harder competition and run worse when other women were around me. I spoke about this more in my Quebec recap. But, it’s an important part of this story too. Really squashing that narrative of whether I was elite, whether I belonged helped me step into this 100k ready to put my best foot forward.
2 WEEKS TO RACE DAY
Fast forward to the two weeks before race day…
It’s 3pm on a Tuesday and I’m working on someone’s shoulder joint when I see a notification come through on my watch. It was an email. The email read:
Good Afternoon,
My name is … and I am the marketing manager for the 2025 Grindstone Trail Running Festival by UTMB. I am working with our announcer and Women of Distance Podcast Host, Lauren Cramer, to set up a couple of panels for different distances over race weekend during the Expo called Athletes to Watch. They will be hosted on the main stage at Natural Chimneys Park right in the Expo. I was wondering if you would be interested in being in the panel with a handful of other people on Friday, September 19 at 3pm? If you are interested please let me know if I can share your email with Lauren so she can further walk through the plan for the panel.
Butterflies instantly rushed to my stomach. A big smile crossed my face. The irony was NOT lost on me. Here I was complaining a few short months ago that I was not “elite enough” and now I’m being asked to talk on the elite panel. My first time in fact. I hadn’t even been on any elite panels during my road racing career where I arguably had even more success. I mentioned this to a few of my close patients asking their opinion whether I should say yes or not. One of my high level soccer athletes and her dad said “Of course you have to do it!”
I waited 24 hours. I asked for Josh’s opinion that night before I sent anything back. I was nervous that by joining the elite panel I would be putting too much pressure on myself, knowing that this was going to be my very first 100k. Then, I realized that this was a silly mindset. It was an honour to be asked, and may be my only time. I also already had experience sharing my love of the sport with others through instagram and youtube and this was an opportunity to do so to a larger audience. I could take this as a learning experience for public speaking and that way if I were asked again, I would be less nervous.
I replied back, Yes absolutely.
Women of Distance Podcast Host, Lauren Cramer, replied back the week before the event giving some prep questions, namely Why Grindstone? and Was this my first 100k?
After I read through that email, I realized that the elite panel was the PERFECT place to finalize my mental prep pre race. The MOST important thing that I learned this year with my sports psych was that I needed to prepare mentally just as much as physically. And I could use the panel as I way to double down on my “why” for both the distance and the location. I could build on the success from Quebec and do my very best on the day that I was given.
RACE EXPO: 1 DAY BEFORE RACE DAY
The day before the race, I headed to the expo to pick up my bib where I got my eyes on the venue for the first time. It was so hot that I was dripping in sweat just walking around. For once I was blessed to be coming from southern ontario to race as these were the conditions that I know all too well. The national park featured stunning “natural chimneys” at the start/ finish line. From there, we killed some time in the swag shop before heading on stage for 30minutes for the Athlete Panel. I’ll include some footage from the panel on my youtube when that video is finished. Backstage, I chatted with the other athletes who had a wide array of experiences from FKTs, to UTMB, to winning Grindstone in previous editions. I even started to fan-girl when I saw Sage Canaday in the audience as his wife Sandi marched up stage to sit beside me. I was definitely a little shaky, and inheritly thought everyone else’s answers were better than my own but, Josh assurred me that I did a great job. I learned that Sandi would also be racing the 100k which was a little intimidating but, I didn’t count myself out. I thought that, yes she’s a great athlete but so am I and anything can happen on a day. From that point on, I didn’t give the other competitors a second thought. We chatted about everyone’s purpose, travel, and tips for race day. I explained that my main plan was to focus on cooling as much as possible including ice bandanas at every crew station as the temperature was to be 25 degrees and humid.
Leading up to the race, I had done research on the top 5 female finishers from last year to estimate my finish time and aid station times. My chart would put me finishing between 13 and 14.5 hours. Here it is in all it’s glory:
| 1) Lick Run 1: 9km, +171m, 43-50min (4:49-5:28/k) |
| 2) Wolf Ridge: 18.4km, +412m, 1:50-2hr (6:57-7:46/k) |
| 3) Sand Springs: 34k, +1056m, 3:40-4hr (7:04-7:37/k) |
| 4) North River Gap 1: 41, +1086m, 4:15-4:45 (5:52-6:42/k) |
| 5) Lookout Mountain: 50k, +1503m, ? 6hr (*no times from last year) |
| 6) Magic Moss: 61.4k, +1806m, 7:13-8hr (8:30-9:10/k) |
| 7) Camp Todd: 69.6k, +1886m, 8-9hr (6:06-7:17/k) |
| 8) North River Gap 2: 85.6k, +2632m, 10:45-11:40hr (10:38/k) |
| 9) Lick Run 2: 98k, +2916m total, 12.5-13.5hr (9:25-9:48/k) |
| Finish average: 7:31/k-8:15/k |
RACE DAY: SEPTEMBER 20, 2025
My phone alarm clock went off bright and early 3:45am. I went through my race day routine of oatmeal, tea, taping my toes/ blister areas, pinning my bib onto my tank top, and throwing all my pre-prepped ice bandanas into the cooler for the day.
“I’m definitely going to need my headlamp to start,” Josh and I discussed as we wound through the dark narrow backroads on our way to the start. It was stunningly black outside with next to no light pollution. Of course I was nervous but, I reminded myself that once I start, the nerves would go away.
We parked and walked over to the start line, using our headlamps to navigate the grassy path that was littered with black walnuts. Definitely a scary thought that a rogue walnut could end my race before it started just walking over to the start line. The start line was sectioned off to seperate the elite field from the rest and I confidently walked up right to the front. As the american national anthem played, I reminded myself that I did not need to get rid of the nerves, rather, the nerves were there to help me be ready to go and perform at my best. I was pleasantly surprised when Lauren shouted me out over the loadspeaker as one of the elites in the field among only a few other names. I hadn’t had a shoutout like that since Toronto Zoo Run back in like 2017. I glanced around at a few of the other women. I thought about how I was intimidated at Quebec but now, I was right there with them, deservingly.
Start – 9km (First Aid) Lick Run 1: +171m, Goal: 43-50min (4:49-5:28/k)
We were counted down and as of 6am we were off. As I launched off the line I accidently started then stopped my watch so I had to embarrassingly double click my watch to get started. If you look closely at the instagram video of our start you can see this fiasco. Our headlamps were on full as we had a loop through the grass to leave the park and I was fearful of those dang walnuts. Luckily, I did not see any as glowing hoka banners lit the way through the park before heading off onto the road section.
This first section was mostly road. I settled into a faster pace knowing that I wanted to complete that section in around 45 minutes based on my researach from last year. I found the men quickly seperated out front, leaving a pack of just women. It was really cool that I was out with all of the elite women for once. Back to quebec, I was already 45sec/k pace behind the leaders. Now, I was one of them. I felt comfortable in the 4:50/k pace that we were in as we rolled through this nice flat road. In fact, any little bumps in the road I had gained a few steps on the other women around me. “I am so strong,” I thought. I even made small conversation with the women to remind myself that they are here to help me, not to fight against. Jessica told me that she ran this course last year and I knew that Sandi had won this race in 2010. That also gave me confidence in my pacing as I knew they would know each section well. The paved roads switched to gravel roads after about 7km and I pulled ahead slightly. I focused on singing along in my head to my favourite tunes, keeping myself relaxed. I saw more glowing hoka signs in the shape of birds that I thought were really neat!
I was about third female through the first aid station, as there were actually 2 women that snuck through 2 minutes ahead of us that I hadn’t seen, at 46:15 with Jessica and Sandi right there with me. I decided to top up one of my bottles as I still had a lot left of my initial 1L but, not enough to last until 18km. Sandi also stopped to fill up but Jessica ran right through.
9k – 18.5k (Second Aid) Wolf Ridge: +412m, Goal: 1:50-2hr (6:57-7:46/k)
We immediately hit more technical trails and I had to stop and walk for a few moments to catch my breath. Sandi told me she was passing in a very quiet and mousey voice. I had a second of self-doubt there wondering if I had just gone out way too hard and killed my race. But, I reframed and reminded myself that I always run best when I worry about what’s right for ME in that moment and not what others are doing. I knew that I needed to slightly bring my heartrate down and that walking would be the right call for me. I also felt a bit hot and didn’t want to crank my body temperature.
The fear of a parade of other girls passing me never came to fruition and I just kept trucking along through the single track. I was pleasantly surprised when the trails looked exactly like my home turf, the bruce trail. So many similarities made me smile knowing that I chose the right course to debut on. I focused on a steady pace, ensuring to run every step that I could while taking in the colours of the fall leaves. One of my favourite things about trail running is the change of pace – going from running to walking and back to running again. I think im very skilled at moving between these cadences and I told myself that during the race.
My gels were sitting slightly less than optimal, creating more burps than expected so early into the race. I popped a tums, which I always keep on me, and that seemed to help.
I knew that this section would climb slightly up to reach 400m. The trails felt like an uphill treadmill, a slight constant incline and I was surprised that I could actually consistently run. Last year I struggled with my uphills, and this year I found the goldilocks of vert training. Too much makes you slower, too little and the downhills destroy you, but, just right, just right you are powerful and strong. I came through at 1:54:09 and I knew I was right on goal pace. I made sure to grab some watermelon and chips to give my stomach something else. I found a water bucket with some sponges and rang it out 3 times over my head. It was icy and cold.
18.5k – 34k (Third Aid) Sand Springs: +1056m, 3:40-4hr (7:04-7:37/k)
I knew that this next section was going to be one of the hardest of the day with 600m of climbing and ~2 hours to complete. I made sure at the third aid station to take a full 1L of fluids. One mantra I always say during these long events is “take care of yourself early on and you can pass people later or you will be thanking yourself later.” Which means, don’t miss any gels, fluids, or electrolytes. At black canyon, I completed skipped my salt tabs so I reminded myself not to forget those. Fueling is the main way I distract myself during these long segments: on the hour take a gel, the next 15 minutes take a salt tab, on the 30 minute take another gel, on the 45 take another salt then back to gel at 60 again. This gives me something to think about every 15 minutes, a great mental trick. Often I’ll tell myself that I need to try to beat myself to the next aid station before it’s time to take my next gel. It keeps me pushing throughout. Luckily, the watermelon that I consumed at the last aid station really helped to settle my stomach and everything was sitting so much better. I stopped being the most disgusting girl out there. I was glad that I had gotten my head wet at the last aid station as it made me feel a lot better.
The majority of this section was alot of power hiking which I loved. Steady climbs and just powering on ahead. Nothing was particularily steep and the trail resembled much of the bruce that I had trained on. It reminded me of Felkers falls, Grimsby, or Ontario-6 on the techy parts but those were never super long. Then it would open up to a pine needle floor along the single track. Beautiful. I did glance out at the distance to see the silouhettes of mountains in the exact shape as the course logo. That made me smile.
I grouped up with a few men in this uphill section and let them pull me along setting the pace. We chatted about races and I learned all about the Wasatch 100miler and crazy elevation there. We chatted about our racing shoes and the boys saved me from several thorn bushes that we passed through. There was one female, Laura, who I would battle with all day who was right there behind me. We had varied strengths and I would notice that on flats or downhills I would gap her, then after long uphills segments her pink T shirt would appear on my shoulder again. Only to dissappear after I started pushing again. “Just pass me already,” I thought. I was grateful in some ways that she was there pushing me because it kept me from settling and slowing down.
The interesting thing about this course was the perfectly balanced up and down sections. For the same amount of distance that you climbed, you would get the equal amount down. Downhills are really fun for me but I did start to notice them kicking the shit out of my quads as they became never ending and decently steep. After we made our way to the next aid station, we had a steep grassy hill to go down that seemed never ending. It wasn’t very technical which was nice so I could focus on just not braking. I ended up passing the guys but they were just behind me for most of the way down – which made it very hard to go pee. I didn’t have to worry about being dehydrated, that was for sure.
Mentally I pushed well through this section knowing that after I pass through this aid station, the next one I’d see my crew – Josh. We popped out of the trails onto a gravel road at 3:52:14, still within my goal pace. I gave the aid station volunteer both bottles to fill and knelt down under a different water bucket to douse my head. As I’m cooling, I see that girl Laura again. Damn! I thought I smashed her on those downhills but she came in only a few seconds behind me at that aid station.
34k – 41k (Fourth Aid Station) North River Gap 1 CREWED: +1086m, 4:15-4:45 (5:52-6:42/k)
The volunteer handed me back my full bottles and I ran out of the aid station with my hands full of watermelon and chips again.
Now this section of the course was going to be FAST. And I knew it. I knew there was next to no elevation gained and we were smashing along a gravel dirt road. I focused in on my road racing experience and starting pressing at what felt closer to a tempo pace after just coming off of technical trails. Some of the gravel pieces were quite large so you still had to be mindful of the footing. Occassionally a car would drive past and we’d have to move out of the way.
I kept ahead of the female behind me and focused on pressing hard to reach Josh. I knew this section was only 7km and I wanted gain some time here. I even hit a few kilometers at 5:10/k pace – at almost 40k into a race – wild! I ended up covering that section in under 39minutes.
Josh handed me an ice bandana, a freezie and one of my bundles of gels that would get me through until I saw him again. 41k felt like halfway to my brain. I knew that I would have two more big climbs ahead of me for the day but I felt ready. I crossed the timing mat in 4:31:37 as I left the aid. I knew this was somewhere in the middle of my target range keeping hope alive that maybe even at sub 13hr finish wasn’t out of the question.
41k – 50k (Fifth Aid Station) Lookout Mountain: +1503m, ? 6hr
I pushed my way out of the aid station as fast as possible to avoid being caught by any women. We climbed up gravel road for a few more minutes before heading back into the trails. I knew that we’d have one of our climbs of the day within this and the next section of ~400m. I used that a mental fuel, celebrating every time I reached another 100m gained knowing that I would be almost at the top and could then work my downhill speed. It was a mixture of power hiking and running when I could through this section. On a few switch backs I noticed that Laura was right there near me again, that pink Tshirt of hers was haunting me. I would gap her again for at least 30 minutes then somehow she would re-appear – so strange!
I knew that this section would only be about an hour until the next aid, which broke it up really nicely. I remembered to take in some of the views and enjoyed the technical trails thinking about all the routes at home that they reminded me of.
The next aid station I did indeed come in around 6 hours, actually at 5:50hr by my watch as there was no timing mat at this section. I knew that I was still making great time. The volunteers were so kind to call me by name and insist that they did everything for me as I tried to fill my own bottles. I asked for more watermelon and grabbed another handful of chips as I quickly moved out of that aid station.
51k – 61.4k (Sixth Aid Station) Magic Moss: +1806m, 7:13-8hr (8:30-9:10/k)
From there we went through another technical trail section with 300m gained. I remember noting that my vert calculations were going to be off because I ended up more like 2000m instead of 1800m by the end. I reminded myself of my two 4000m weeks and my 3300m in Quebec which was straight uphill. I knew that I could handle it and to not worry too far ahead.
I brought my mind back to my nutrition and focused on what was there ahead of me. Another long downhill was really beating up my legs but just kept counting down the miles until the next aid.
I had thought I had finally lost that pink Tshirt when I rolled into the aid station just to see her roll in a few moments later. So confused how I hadn’t seen her behind me in more than an hour as I came through 7:16:01. I knew that I was still closer to my 13hr goal pace and was satisfied to see that time on my watch. At the same time, I saw another girl quickly leave the aid station. The race was on! Two women right there with me.
61.4k – 69.4k (Seventh Aid Station) Camp Todd CREWED: +1886m, 8-9hr (6:06-7:17/k)
I knew that the next section was going to be back onto that gravel road again. I made it a personal goal to crush that section as hard as possible as I ran towards my second crewed aid station of the day. I could see that female just ahead of me and was counting the distance between us, 15 seconds. Easy. I started pressing while noting that the other girl was still there behind me, maybe 30 seconds back. I focused on how strong I felt even though my patellar tendons were feeling the hills at this point. The bottom of my feet were starting to get mighty sore – racing in a carbon plated shoe for almost 8 hours now. I knew that it would be important to leave enough time to change my shoes with Josh at the next aid station.
I actually was so strong passing that female ahead that I had time to stop and pee again without losing any positions. I ran up on Josh at 8:08:35 and quickly sat on the ground. I swapped my socks and shoes, grabbed a new ice bandana as well as put voltaren on my sore kneecaps. I rememberd to grab my extra bottle so that I’d have 1.5L for this section. Just as I stood up to leave the aid station, Laura and her pink Tshirt came blazing through the aid station without stopping. I was flabbergasted that she wouldn’t refill her bottles as we were going into the biggest climb of the day and likely the longest section between aid stations. From that point on, I never saw her again.
69.9k -85.5k (Eighth Aid Station) North River Gap 2 CREWED: +2632m, 10:45-11:40hr (10:38/k)
I had mentally prepped and knew that this would be the hardest section of the day. Not only would we climb over 800m, but we would be out there for more than 2 hours between aid stations. On top of that, this would be the first time my body would cross the 80km distance.
We dove back into the trails immediately after the aid station with a brief river crossing as I adjusted my ice bandana and pack. I was relieved to see a long steady uphill as I knew I could walk and my knees were so thankful for this. They stopped hurting and my feet felt renewed with new socks and shoes. I was in complete no mans land at this point, not seeing a soul out there.
I started to get confused about how far it would be until the next aid station. I had written 85k on my gel packet but surely that couldn’t be right. Was it 71K? As 71k came and gone I decided that it must be 78k… again frustrated that aid station was no where in sight I kept pushing. I started getting some strange symptoms at this point, my fingers were tingling, I had been peeing frequently, and my eyes felt a bit blurry. With my background I knew that I must be in a state of hyponatremia – excess fluid intake compared to needs. I decided to take in a few extra salt tabs and to take a break from drinking fluids for a bit. As another hour passed I was getting super frustrated that I hadn’t reached the aid station yet… it must be 85k, damn. Luckily for me I ran out of fluids anyways so I had ample time to dry out. What wasn’t so dry were my feet. The ice bandanas had been dripping all day and making my feet wet which had finally sprouted some blisters between my toes, even with them taped. I had thought about stopping to apply bandaids but, at that point I was less than 5km away from the aid station and would just do it there with a new pair of socks.
I passed a few hundred milers and second guessed my earlier thoughts of coming back to Grindstone for a hundred miler debut. All I wanted to do was be done with that climb. The downhills were no longer fun as my feet hurt and my knees hurt. To make it worse, the course was now running long and I didn’t get to the next aid station until 87km. Those last few km were torturous.
I found Josh at the aid station and sat down again in. This time very grumpy. The distance was starting to get to me and I was just focused on doing something about these damn blisters. I had packed a whole kit and knew I had everything there to fix it. I dried off my feet, applied a few bandaids and a new pair of socks and I felt so much better. This was my last crewed aid station and I was fixated on getting everything I needed before leaving. I probably spent a bit too much time here (as evidenced by a 17 minute kilometer… so likely a 10 minute stop) at this aid station but it was either spend the time or don’t finish. And I hadn’t made the latter a choice. I grabbed coca-cola and the last of my gels. I denied another ice bandana as I couldn’t stand the thought of getting my feet wet again. Instead, we just put ice into my hat and I stumbled my way out of the aid station. It was 10:58:13 by the time I left that aid and I knew that sub 13 was unlikely now. That section had taken almost 3 hours!
85.5k – 98k (Ninth Aid Station) Lick Run 2: +2916m, 12.5-13.5hr (9:25-9:48/k)
Back onto the gravel roads again, I knew it was pretty much all roads or gravel from here minus one squiggly line that I assumed as a trail section.
At this point, every step I took was further than I had ever gone before. I knew the race was already going to be 105k was now going to be 107k and mentally prepared for that extra distance. I reminded myself to continue to fuel as I still had hopefully 2 hours or less of running left. At least all the hyponatremia symptoms had cleared at this point.
At 91k we went back into the trails and I was a bit sad. I had in my mind to run as hard as possible all the way to the finish and here I was having to revert back to some walk-running. It was at this point where I almost threw up. I had a catch in the back of my throat and it had my gag reflex acting up. I managed to keep it down and took an antinauseant from my bag of tricks before moving on.
I told myself to stop whining and just get on with the section as fast as I could. I ran as much as I could muster occassionally checking behind to see if anyone was catching up to me. It was no man’s land.
By 96k I was finally back out onto the rolling gravel roads and in a much better mood. I purposefully searched through my music for the perfect mix to boost the cadence and the mood. I was impressed the I was running all of the long steady climbs over these roads. When I finally reached the last aid station at 98k (actually 100k) it was eerily quite as they didn’t see me coming. I wanted to refill just a bit of water to sip on to reach the finish. I also topped up my coca-cola for any boost I could get. I took one last glance at the table to see if there was anything that I wanted and the volunteers asked what they could get me. I said, “I need to be done,” and we had a good chuckle. I did ask one volunteer to grab my headlamp out from my back just in case. “I’m trying to beat the sunset!” I proclaimed. “You’re going to do it,” he replied. He also told me that it would be 1.5 miles until I was back onto the pavement.
98k – Finish 105k: +2927m, 13:15-14.5hr (5:02-5:54/k)
I had made it a secret side goal to beat the sunset. In my pre-race prep I had the following written down:
- 6am Start
- 6:54am sunrise, 7:11pm sunset (7-830pm finish)
I smashed the final part of the gravel road in 6:42/k pace along a few additional rollers. At this point, I was back onto the same part of the course that we started on. I recognized most of the turns that we had made way back at 6:30am that day. I thought about my initial fear that I went out too hard on this section and smiled knowing that everything worked out OK after all.
I was more than estactic to get back on the road and put my road legs to the test. I pictured all those long marathon tempos in the winter that I do every year with Mitch Free. I knew I was strong and tough. Finishing this in trail shoes was starting to really wear on my feet as the lugs tend to dig in when you’re on roads for too long. Even so, I looked up ahead and saw several men who were finishing the 100 miler and made it another side mission to pass them all.
My final kilometers rang in at:
5:15, 5:11, 5:27, 5:17, 5:03, 5:26/k pace
I hadn’t been looking down at my watch at all. I was running at max gear, completely by feel. I teared up slightly thinking about how I was actually going to make it to that finish line, I had actually done 100k. It was also so crazy to think that I could be running that pace after already running for almost 13 hours. I hadn’t known my exact place but I knew I was well within the top 10 women.
I wound my way back onto the grass that we took at that morning, past the glowing hoka signs all over again. It was getting dark but there were still hints of light. I gotta beat the sunset, gotta beat the sunset, was all I could think.
When I saw the natural chimneys again I knew I was done.
I crossed the finish line: 07:19 PM, 13:19:00. Lauren was still at the announcer booth for the day and ran over to congratulate me. I felt so proud that she took that chance in bringing me onto the Elite Panel and I had showed up exactly the way she expected. I was elite enough. I asked her over and over, “what place am I?” “5th female,” She said. “Awards are top 5 right?” I asked. She replied yes but I missed them by about 15 minutes. Damn. I knew the awards were posted at 7pm but I had hoped they may wait if they knew I was close.
I walked over to the stage to collect my award and chatted with the first 2 women who were still hanging around. Sandi had won and I told her it was great to get to run with her for the start. I got to fangirl over Sage and explained to him that I had followed his Youtube and raced Minotaur and Speedgoat because of him.
Thunder and lightning had started to roll in and I was so happy to have been finished as it started to get scary being out there.
There we have it. The epic story of highs and lows that can only be experienced through something so far as 100k. I got another opportunity to myself to prove that I am elite enough. After dissapointing results all 2024, I was beyond proud to put together an amazingly successful year all around highlighted by QMT and Grindstone. I proved that I CAN compete with these other women, that I do deserve to be there. But mostly I proved that I don’t really have to prove anything. When I plan my races around adventure, enjoyment and focus on process based goals, I can get the most out of myself. I also showed that I can have control over my mindset instead of just “getting lucky.” It’s a reminder to not only focus on what you didn’t do right, but what you do that has brought you success. In terms of what I would change, I hope to learn more about preventing blisters and I would add a few more downhill sessions into the plan to be even more successful. But, other than that, I wouldn’t change much.
So, am I elite now?
Does it matter?
That’s a wrap for my 2025 year. I plan a full recharge and a mileage block to finish off the year without any other races on the schedule. Stay tuned for a Youtube video that will highlight our trip to Virginia.
Tanis Bolton 